Trying my hardest

In my perfect world I can do it all... Raise my three children to be sweet, loving, incredibly obedient angels. Keep my house clean and tidy at all times. Have three meals on the table on time, every day. Homeschool my three angels who would go on to become rocket scientists because of their brilliant schooling. Bake something amazing every day. And keep this blog updated and captivating, full of wonderful pictures, gaining hundreds of followers a day.

Let's face it. This is no perfect world. I strive for all of the above and the most important to me is how I raise my children and what kind of people they become. But really, my house is a mess, meal time isn't always on time, we tried homeschooling, life got in the way, and I am still wrestling with trying it again.  Baking takes me three times longer than the average person, and most days I can't wrap my head around being brilliant enough for a blog post. But I am trying to re-spin this blog. I'd love for it to involve my life happenings, my baking adventures and our quest to homeschool. But I might be setting myself up for failure. I am great at multi-tasking, but I don't know if I'm cut out to do it all. I have several friends who homeschool and keep up a daily blog. I have several friends who bake amazingness and blog about it every day. Their pictures are amazing. Their words are entertaining. And some of those people homeschool, bake AND blog. How do they do it?! I have a love for writing. I have three crazies who provide me with a great amount of inspiration. I bake as much as I can. But the trick is doing it all. Every day.

So let's start with this.  Almost a year and a half ago our lives changed drastically.  My husband lost his worship director position at the church we had attended for almost 8 years.  We, in turn, with very heavy hearts left the church.  All of the plans we had for our lives flew out the window before we could roll them up.  Our house got put on the market.  We were faced with not living next door to my mom anymore, not staying in the the only home our children had ever known. The home we never envisioned leaving.  We didn't know what God was trying to teach us, but we knew something was going to change.  After much prayer and conversation, we agreed God was calling us elsewhere.  After a whole lot of deliberation, we realized God was calling us to Iowa.  Yea, Iowa.  Almost smack dab in the middle of the country.  1,800 miles away from most of our family.  Who wouldn't jump on the first plane out of sunny, beautiful California to head to Iowa?!  ;)  We sold our house, lived in an apartment for 6 months and then moved in with my mom to await the exodus out of California.  Two months later we said goodbye to our family and friends and took a huge step of faith, knowing that God wanted to use us in a new area.  I spent the month of August with our children in Iowa getting unpacked and settled, starting school and soccer.  My husband went back to California for the month to finish up his guitar lessons.  That was a long, tiring month!

So here we are, living in Ames, IA for 2 months now.  Autumn is upon us.  I have so missed this chilly, leaves changing color weather!  The kids are in school and loving it.  The soccer season is almost over.  My husband is teaching guitar lessons and working as a graphic designer at a local company.  I am on a quest to cut out as much processed, unhealthy stuff from our diets as possible.  I make a lot of our food from scratch these days.  We are all making friends.  We look forward to traveling around the mid-west.  The kids are excited for winter.  They haven't had much experience with snow in their lives.  I am thrilled to have a white Christmas again!  We love living in the same town again as my brother, sister-in-law and nieces and nephews.  It's been too long and I cherish every moment we spend together!  We are excited for this new journey!

That is the question

The current question for our lives is to homeschool or not to homeschool? It has been a question I have been asking myself ever since London was about to start Kindergarten. After 2 years of asking myself that question, I think I may finally be coming up with an answer. It is an answer that won't come without a TON of prayer, though. Homeschooling is a scary thing for me. It is a desire I have - I want to have the kids home with me, learning the things we want to teach them - but every time I think about me being the one in charge of their education, I feel overwhelmingly unqualified.

Is this really what God wants for us? Is it what will be best for the kids? For me? For us as a family? There are so many pros and even some cons, that when all put together still don't give me a clear cut decision. I am not the most creative person and I feel like that is a hinderance in the homeschooling realm. I am also not the most patient person. Heck, I'll just say it.. I'm not even the least bit patient. Can I really handle teaching my children ALL day long?! Sometimes I am giddily excited and screaming "WE'RE GOING TO HOMESCHOOL!!" on the inside and sometimes I am panic-stricken by the notion.

What I do know, with all my heart, is that if homeschooling is what God wants for us, He will provide everything we need for it.. Patience, self-control, kindness, energy, rest, wisdom and finances. I know I need to stop stressing about it and just follow God's lead.

Exciting times ahead....

Daddy's little girl

Six months ago today my dad lost his battle with cancer. Words can't even begin to describe the pain that has come from losing him. I am (and always have been) a complete Daddy's Girl. My mom tells stories of when I was a baby and how my dad doted over me. He always changed my diaper when needed and fixed whatever made me cry. As I grew, I always knew just how much my dad loved me. He never missed an opportunity to show me and tell me. I owe my good self-esteem to my dad. I believe a dad's love for his daughter helps shape her into the woman she becomes. My dad did exactly that for me. I never once looked for my self worth in anything or anyone outside of who God created me to be.

My dad taught me to work hard, to respect myself and others and to love those around me. He was a quiet man (and most people found him incredibly intimidating until they got to know him), but he was full of love and emotion. I felt that love every single day of my life. I am incredibly thankful for getting to live next door to him and my mom the last 5 years. I am thankful that they got to be such a huge part of my children's lives. My dad and I spent the last 5 years becoming even closer.. I miss seeing him every day and learning from him. He was the first person I called if I had a question about anything (outside of cooking, that requires my mom!). He was a wealth of knowledge and could fix just about anything. He wasn't one to sit still for very long. He loved exploring and discovering how things worked. My oldest, London, is so much like him. They took many trips together to Home Depot to get parts for my dad's many projects. They also loved exploring along the river with Papa's metal detector. My dad taught London to fish. They didn't get as much time together as either of them wanted, but I hope that London carries those memories with him. London sure does miss his Papa and I am sad he doesn't have the privilege of more time with my dad. My dad would have taught London all the things he taught me. Now my brothers and I have the honor of carrying on our dad's legacy and instilling those things in our children, his 9 grandchildren. They will always know how much their Papa loved them. They will know what it is to work hard, to take pride in the things they do, to respect themselves and each other and to love those around them.

I can still feel my dad's love every day and I know that won't diminish. When I make a discovery or learn something new he is the first person I think of. I know he would want to be here with us too, watching his grandchildren grow into such great little people. He was a great example of strength, even through his sickness. He never once gave up and never once questioned God's plan. He held tight to his salvation and accepted everything that came with incredible courage. I am thankful God blessed me with such an amazing dad. I never expected our time to be cut so short, but I am incredibly thankful for the time we had. And even though he's no longer physically here, I will forever be his little girl.

Warp speed

I really can't believe it's been over 2 years. There is something about having kids that makes time move at an incredibly fast rate.. Faster than normal. Growing up my dad would always tell me that years pass in the blink of an eye. He was right. Not only am I years older, but my children are growing at a non-stop pace. I have asked them repeatedly to stop growing older, but they have yet to obey.

London is now 7 and wrapping up the 1st grade. He loves school, even though he informed me at the beginning of the school year that he wanted to drop out of school so he didn't have to do homework anymore. I laughed and said, "Sorry dear, you have 10 more years of it." He seems to have accepted this lot in life and has excelled in his studies. He has been playing piano for 2 years and started showing an increasing interest in guitar. We let him start guitar lessons in April. His dad is his teacher, which I love. It is such a special thing for the two of them to be able to bond over. They are both enjoying their time together. London also enjoys playing soccer with the Folsom Soccer Club. He will begin his 4th season of soccer this August, with the same team.

Adelaide is now 5, going on 13 sometimes. She started preschool in February (5 months into the year), but she has fit right in and absolutely loves every minute of it. She has started making her own friends and gets a break from her pesky brothers. ;) She took ballet and tap for 18 months and danced in 2 recitals during that time. Dancing is in her blood and she can't stay away from it for too long. She has taken a break since soccer season last fall, but desperately wants to get back to it. Her favorite part is the recital. She is at home on the big stage, under the lights, dancing in front of a crowd. She has also started piano lessons in April, compliments of her very talented dad. She really enjoys learning and finally being able to do the things her older brother does. She will start Kindergarten in August and is over the moon to be at London's school - FINALLY! I know she will do great and have so much fun each day. Adelaide is a monster on the soccer field!! She will begin her second season this August. She was more aggressive on the field than I expected. She scored several goals throughout the season and absolutely loved being on the field as much as possible.

Porter.. What can I say?! He's 3 1/2 and gains more energy as he grows. Kind of like the Incredible Hulk!! His nickname is Destructor and it is incredibly appropriate. He will being preschool in September (and turn 4)... That is, if the kid gets the desire to use the toilet for his business instead of a diaper. I don't think there is a child that has ever lived that has had less interest in using a toilet! I am determined to get him potty trained by the time school starts in September. I have a feeling he's going to spend a lot of time naked in our backyard this summer..

Gabe continues to be used by God at our church, Harbor Community Church, as the worship director. It has been great to see how God has used him to grow our church in their understanding and love of worshiping our great God! He is also still teaching guitar lessons 5 days a week. He steadily has about 45 students from month to month! He also finds time to be a great dad and an even greater husband :) We are celebrating 10 years of marriage this July.. I can't believe it!

I plug on as a wife and mother. It is always what I knew God was calling me to be. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am so blessed to have the husband I have and the three crazy kids I have!

Has it really been that long?

Well, to my faithful 2 or 3 readers, Hello. I'm sorry I have been away so long. Three kids will do that to a person.

So golly, it's been 8 months. Nothing too exciting has happened in these last 8 months. I haven't catered at all. London started preschool. Porter turned 1 back in September. London turned 5 just a few weeks ago. Adelaide will be 3 in a few weeks. I actually started watching our friends' baby last month. She just turned 4 months old. I watch her 4 days a week. Adelaide adores her and is my big helper. Porter didn't like her being here all that much when she first started coming over. She's growing on him though. He's a lot more tolerant of her now. It's crazy with 4 kids.. Just slightly crazier than with 3. I'll be watching her till mid-June. We love having her here with us. She just loves watching the three crazies cause a raucus. The sights and sounds amaze her. I'm sure it's a lot different than her normal world that only contains two barking dogs. Well, maybe a little different.. :)

London is your typical 5-year old. He started preschool in September and he really likes it. He enjoys the independence and freedom from this house. He is doing quite well and is definitely ready for Kindergarten in the fall. He's active, mouthy, sometimes a little rough with his sister, loves to "rough house" with his dad, is pretty well-mannered and loves Ninja Warrior. He is going to be a rock star someday. He has quite a musical knack and we are looking into getting him started with piano lessons (as soon as his Uncle Del moves to Davis!!). He still loves the accordion, but his favorite is the guitar (what, with the 50 we have in the house...).

Adelaide is your typical almost 3-year old going on 16. She's become a little bit sassy, but underneath it really is a sweet girl. She loves to help me with whatever I need help with (dishes, laundry, toy clean-up, etc). She simply adores her brothers and is quite good at keeping up with London, no matter what he does. She wants to be a ballerina when she grows up. We are hoping to start her in ballet classes soon.

Porter. What can I say? He's the craziest of the crazies. He loves pulling all my cookbooks off the bookshelf (several times a day). He has an odd infatuation with his sister's shoes. He loves climbing on anyone and anything. He screeches at animals. His favorite person is Elmo (though his Babcia runs a close second). He has some nappy hair; it's the curliest of all three and boy, it gets nappy. He has also discovered a love for the harmonica. He's quite good too (for an 18-month old!). We figure he'll take to the drums because he likes things to be as loud as possible. He is definitely our loudest. Boy, he's loud. Seriously, have I mentioned how loud he is?

Gabe is still keeping busy being the Worship Director for our church and teaching guitar lessons. God is definitely using him in great ways at our church and I just love the worship experience. He has over 40 guitar students, which is pretty much a full schedule. He's also plugging away with his two bands, For Steven and The Black Tie Riot (that's a new one). For Steven just recently had a show after a pretty long hiatus. It was great to see them perform again. My husband is such a rock star!

And me? I'm just trying to keep up with the husband, the kids and the house. I recently started on Jr. High staff at our church. Going back to my roots. I am quite enjoying it. The students are super cool. Mostly my days are spent focused on my children. I am referee when London and Adelaide decide to argue (which is almost constant). I am the maid when the kids make a mess too big to clean up themselves. I keep the chef in me alive preparing peanut butter-jelly-and-fluff sandwiches, concocting different ways to make grilled cheese sandwiches (there aren't many, trust me) and creating different ways to present food that makes "gross" things more appealing. I am a fitness instructor with our daily walks and outdoor playtime. One of my most tiring jobs is definitely night watchman. Porter continues to not sleep through the night and has now taken to waking two times a night, before his 6am wake up time. I am tired, folks. But I know there will come a time, all too soon, that the kids will sleep through the night, they won't want me to interject so much and they just plain won't want me around. So I'm milking this stage of life for all I can. Through all the arguing and yelling and crying and night-time bottles, I am enjoying my children while they still need me.

We're hoping to hit up Disneyland at the end of April. Iowa's most likely a bust again this year. We'll see if things change, though. We might be able to pull off a July visit. Good thing is my brother and his family will be here in July, so at least we'll get to see them then.

Well, folks, my shift of personal trainer is about to begin. The weather has been absolutely beautiful here and it is time to go outside to burn off some energy. Or as DJ Lance from Yo Gabba Gabba would say, "Let's get the sillies out!".. That's about it. I've felt bad for not updating this blog as much as I should, I'll try harder. I can't promise anything, but I will try.

Peace out.