We received the message none of us wanted to get. Kurt Mathews passed away at 9am this morning. A gloom has been cast over our hearts. We mourn with our friends at the passing of their husband and dad.
Now as we continue with our day of various errands and family gatherings, our hearts, thoughts and prayers are fixed on the Mathews family as they endure this horrible, life altering time.
Kurt has gone before us. His family has said goodbye to his time on earth. But there is hope. This is not the final goodbye.
Kurt Mathews is survived by his wife, daughter and son. And a church family who will miss him dearly.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Sadness
One of our good friend's dad (who we also know pretty well), is at this moment, dying of cancer. He was diagnosed just one month ago with lung cancer. At the time he was diagnosed the cancer had already spread to his liver and bones. Since starting treatment, one month ago, masses behind his eye and ear have also been discovered. He has been hospitalized since this weekend. He just recently lost the mobility in his right arm. The family was just informed there is nothing else that can medically be done. Now they just have to stay by his side and prepare for his passing. I can barely type those words without crying. We have seen a family crushed. A man, a physically fit, healthy man in his 50s, brought to his end by cancer. A wife, losing her best friend, her love, her life. A son, watching his father fight for his life, now taking care of his mother and sister, having to be the man of the house. A daughter, no doubt daddy's little girl, having to see her strong, hero dad, being defeated by his greatest enemy. This is devastation to the fullest. My heart is so heavy for this family. We are grieving with them.
The man that lies dying of this horrible disease, joyful, for he knows God is in control. The family that lies in ruin can rejoice. This is not the end for them. Praise God for that hope! And as a church family, we will mourn the passing of this man, but we will rejoice and praise God knowing He is the creator and sustainer of life. God is in control and is calling home one of his own.
The man that lies dying of this horrible disease, joyful, for he knows God is in control. The family that lies in ruin can rejoice. This is not the end for them. Praise God for that hope! And as a church family, we will mourn the passing of this man, but we will rejoice and praise God knowing He is the creator and sustainer of life. God is in control and is calling home one of his own.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Some kind of wonderful
Okay.. So let me put everyone's mind at ease. I AM NOT PREGNANT. I mean really, I'm not that crazy. Though, hopefully within the next 6 months I'll be announcing that kind of news. So be patient. But please, no triplets.
So the big news is I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO BE A STAY AT HOME MAMA. That's right. Gabe got a job (day job) at our church (office manager type thing). We found out Wednesday and when he told me, I could barely contain myself. If I were a dog, I would've peed myself. I gave my 2 weeks notice on Friday. I was anxious about that. You must understand, I actually really like my job. I get to go hang out with 2 really good friends for 7.5 hours a day. The work is tolerable and I spend a good amount of time shootin' the breeze with my co-workers. I was also a little apprehensive about telling my boss.. She's not your average boss. She rocks the boss world big time. She and her husband have broken bread with our family a number of times and we try to get together for poker games often. I mean, come on people, WE'VE GAMBLED TOGETHER. That is some serious bonding. I was so nervous the professional dealings would put a strain on that personal friendship. I just didn't want her to feel like I was abandoning her. AND OH MY GOSH. Continuing in her cool bossness, in a totally geniune "I'm so happy for you" attitude, the first words out of her mouth were "I'm so happy for you. I know this is what you wanted". That situation couldn't have gone better. And so a super big SHOUT OUT to Trixie. You are the coolest boss EVER. And I will miss being bossed by you. And to my partner in crime, a phatty shout out to you. A shout out so big it comes complete with a ghetto-slammed pick up truck with phatty tires and dub spinners (and the guy driving has a peg leg). You have helped make this past year of work so bearable. I have never had a better co-worker. And I certainly have never laughed so much at work. I'm sorry to leave you alone with the Czech and Fonzeki. Ahuh, ahuh.. Ahuh, ahuh, ahuh. :) And I'm sorry you found out about me leaving the way you did. You deserved to hear it from me. Yea you did. Now granted, you both have two more weeks to work with me, but I just wanted to take this opportunity to show the love. Because even though the co-worker thing stops, the friend thing keeps going. So you definitely won't be rid of me.
So PRAISE GOD for providing that job for Gabe. We have been working towards me being a stay at home mom since we found out I was pregnant with London.. So now, after 3 years, it is finally happening. And it feels a little strange. I've never quit a job without having another job lined up (not counting being layed off and having to move in with my parents). So my first inclination is to be all wigged out and wonder how we're going to survive with me not working, what with 2 little mouths to feed and 2 little butts to diaper. But then, the skies open and I am quieted with the fact that God has provided enough income for us. Gabe, my wonderful, amazing husband, is going to work 2 jobs. TWO jobs people. That's two. One. Two whole jobs so I can stay at home with the kids. And we're not talking for 5 months while I'm on maternity leave. This is an indefinite amount of time thing. Man alive God is good! I don't think I can proclaim that enough. Hey, speaking of which, did you hear the one about God being good? Can you tell I'm really, really thankful for what God has just done in our lives? Are you sick of hearing me say God so much? Because none of this would've happened had it not been for HIS awesomeness and provision (see, I didn't say God in that sentence). So two more weeks of work. And Gabe starts his job tomorrow. And then, to celebrate all that God has done, we are going to Disneyland. No, really. We've had this trip planned for months now and it couldn't be happening at a better time. (Must be a God thing). Because the very next week after my last day of work, we're going to Disneyland. Our first family vacation. London is definitely going to pee himself. He has no idea the magical magic that is waiting for him. Gabe and I haven't been to Disneyland since we've been married, and we haven't been on a vacation since London happened. So this will be a great trip. And did I mention when we get back from that trip I won't have to leave my babies to go to work? I get to STAY HOME and work for 2 of the best bosses that ever lived (under the age of 30).. Poop, tears and all.
So the big news is I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO BE A STAY AT HOME MAMA. That's right. Gabe got a job (day job) at our church (office manager type thing). We found out Wednesday and when he told me, I could barely contain myself. If I were a dog, I would've peed myself. I gave my 2 weeks notice on Friday. I was anxious about that. You must understand, I actually really like my job. I get to go hang out with 2 really good friends for 7.5 hours a day. The work is tolerable and I spend a good amount of time shootin' the breeze with my co-workers. I was also a little apprehensive about telling my boss.. She's not your average boss. She rocks the boss world big time. She and her husband have broken bread with our family a number of times and we try to get together for poker games often. I mean, come on people, WE'VE GAMBLED TOGETHER. That is some serious bonding. I was so nervous the professional dealings would put a strain on that personal friendship. I just didn't want her to feel like I was abandoning her. AND OH MY GOSH. Continuing in her cool bossness, in a totally geniune "I'm so happy for you" attitude, the first words out of her mouth were "I'm so happy for you. I know this is what you wanted". That situation couldn't have gone better. And so a super big SHOUT OUT to Trixie. You are the coolest boss EVER. And I will miss being bossed by you. And to my partner in crime, a phatty shout out to you. A shout out so big it comes complete with a ghetto-slammed pick up truck with phatty tires and dub spinners (and the guy driving has a peg leg). You have helped make this past year of work so bearable. I have never had a better co-worker. And I certainly have never laughed so much at work. I'm sorry to leave you alone with the Czech and Fonzeki. Ahuh, ahuh.. Ahuh, ahuh, ahuh. :) And I'm sorry you found out about me leaving the way you did. You deserved to hear it from me. Yea you did. Now granted, you both have two more weeks to work with me, but I just wanted to take this opportunity to show the love. Because even though the co-worker thing stops, the friend thing keeps going. So you definitely won't be rid of me.
So PRAISE GOD for providing that job for Gabe. We have been working towards me being a stay at home mom since we found out I was pregnant with London.. So now, after 3 years, it is finally happening. And it feels a little strange. I've never quit a job without having another job lined up (not counting being layed off and having to move in with my parents). So my first inclination is to be all wigged out and wonder how we're going to survive with me not working, what with 2 little mouths to feed and 2 little butts to diaper. But then, the skies open and I am quieted with the fact that God has provided enough income for us. Gabe, my wonderful, amazing husband, is going to work 2 jobs. TWO jobs people. That's two. One. Two whole jobs so I can stay at home with the kids. And we're not talking for 5 months while I'm on maternity leave. This is an indefinite amount of time thing. Man alive God is good! I don't think I can proclaim that enough. Hey, speaking of which, did you hear the one about God being good? Can you tell I'm really, really thankful for what God has just done in our lives? Are you sick of hearing me say God so much? Because none of this would've happened had it not been for HIS awesomeness and provision (see, I didn't say God in that sentence). So two more weeks of work. And Gabe starts his job tomorrow. And then, to celebrate all that God has done, we are going to Disneyland. No, really. We've had this trip planned for months now and it couldn't be happening at a better time. (Must be a God thing). Because the very next week after my last day of work, we're going to Disneyland. Our first family vacation. London is definitely going to pee himself. He has no idea the magical magic that is waiting for him. Gabe and I haven't been to Disneyland since we've been married, and we haven't been on a vacation since London happened. So this will be a great trip. And did I mention when we get back from that trip I won't have to leave my babies to go to work? I get to STAY HOME and work for 2 of the best bosses that ever lived (under the age of 30).. Poop, tears and all.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Muchas gracias
Well, anyone who reads the comments posted to this site, knows that Kristin gave away the big news.
Thanks Kristin.
Thanks Kristin.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
London calling
So, as if it's really any sort of big deal or milestone, London Thomas Garrison Searles, the son that I brought forth into this world, my first born, is today officially 2 1/2 years old. What does this mean? Oh, just your average "MINE" and "NO" and "STOP THAT" and "NAH" (his new favorite).. All wonderful phrases that it has taken him only 2.5 years to master and will take me approximately the rest of my life to undo. And the crying that ensues when he is denied something that he MUST HAVE AT THIS VERY MOMENT OR HE WILL CEASE TO EXIST. But it also is a lifetime of those "Iwahyou"s that just melt my heart. Those hugs and kisses that I couldn't live a day without. The bedtime rituals of saying "na-night" to everyone and everything (na-night guitar, na-night dump truck, na-night tv), and those sweet kisses he insists on giving Addie. Excuse me as I tear up.
This day means that I couldn't let it go by without acknowledging his existence and sharing my thoughts. Acknowledging that despite his 2 1/2 year old behavior at times, he is the sweetest, cutest and most adorable little boy I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. A little boy who mirrors my image so eerily, but balances it off so perfectly with his Dada's eyes. And with a face like this, how could you not smother him with kisses and praise God each day for bestowing such a perfect gift?
This day means that I couldn't let it go by without acknowledging his existence and sharing my thoughts. Acknowledging that despite his 2 1/2 year old behavior at times, he is the sweetest, cutest and most adorable little boy I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. A little boy who mirrors my image so eerily, but balances it off so perfectly with his Dada's eyes. And with a face like this, how could you not smother him with kisses and praise God each day for bestowing such a perfect gift?
Monday, August 01, 2005
A thousand firsts
Today was my first day back to work after a 5 month maternity leave. The struggle within started about midday yesterday. As the night drew closer, the struggle intensified. I had to fight back the tears a few times last night. Every time I'd think of leaving my babies I would get very emotional. I was up with a fussy Adelaide around 5:30 this morning, just trying to get her to stay asleep. I was successful and she eventually fell back asleep around 5:45 am. My alarm went off at 6 am. I got up and got ready for work. Adelaide woke up about 6:30am so Gabe got up to give her a bottle. I was unable to say goodbye to London, as he was still asleep. I kissed Gabe and Adelaide goodbye and BOY HOWDY were the emotion warriors ready for battle. I was able to get out of the house with just a few tears shed. I quickly focused on something else... Starbucks. I had only a few minutes to decide what I was going to get. The next bought of emotion hit when I got to work and checked my email. My coworker had sent me one in regards to me being back at work and away from the kids.. Great.
I probably thought about the kids a thousand times today. But I made it through. Now the difficult thing is going back tomorrow. Luckily I have quite a bit of work waiting for me, so when I get in I can get right to work and keep busy. Keep my mind off the fact that I'm missing London and Adelaide terribly. Work, have lunch, chat with some coworkers, and think a thousand more thoughts of my children.
I probably thought about the kids a thousand times today. But I made it through. Now the difficult thing is going back tomorrow. Luckily I have quite a bit of work waiting for me, so when I get in I can get right to work and keep busy. Keep my mind off the fact that I'm missing London and Adelaide terribly. Work, have lunch, chat with some coworkers, and think a thousand more thoughts of my children.
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