The current question for our lives is to homeschool or not to homeschool? It has been a question I have been asking myself ever since London was about to start Kindergarten. After 2 years of asking myself that question, I think I may finally be coming up with an answer. It is an answer that won't come without a TON of prayer, though. Homeschooling is a scary thing for me. It is a desire I have - I want to have the kids home with me, learning the things we want to teach them - but every time I think about me being the one in charge of their education, I feel overwhelmingly unqualified.
Is this really what God wants for us? Is it what will be best for the kids? For me? For us as a family? There are so many pros and even some cons, that when all put together still don't give me a clear cut decision. I am not the most creative person and I feel like that is a hinderance in the homeschooling realm. I am also not the most patient person. Heck, I'll just say it.. I'm not even the least bit patient. Can I really handle teaching my children ALL day long?! Sometimes I am giddily excited and screaming "WE'RE GOING TO HOMESCHOOL!!" on the inside and sometimes I am panic-stricken by the notion.
What I do know, with all my heart, is that if homeschooling is what God wants for us, He will provide everything we need for it.. Patience, self-control, kindness, energy, rest, wisdom and finances. I know I need to stop stressing about it and just follow God's lead.
Exciting times ahead....
Friday, October 22, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Daddy's little girl
Six months ago today my dad lost his battle with cancer. Words can't even begin to describe the pain that has come from losing him. I am (and always have been) a complete Daddy's Girl. My mom tells stories of when I was a baby and how my dad doted over me. He always changed my diaper when needed and fixed whatever made me cry. As I grew, I always knew just how much my dad loved me. He never missed an opportunity to show me and tell me. I owe my good self-esteem to my dad. I believe a dad's love for his daughter helps shape her into the woman she becomes. My dad did exactly that for me. I never once looked for my self worth in anything or anyone outside of who God created me to be.
My dad taught me to work hard, to respect myself and others and to love those around me. He was a quiet man (and most people found him incredibly intimidating until they got to know him), but he was full of love and emotion. I felt that love every single day of my life. I am incredibly thankful for getting to live next door to him and my mom the last 5 years. I am thankful that they got to be such a huge part of my children's lives. My dad and I spent the last 5 years becoming even closer.. I miss seeing him every day and learning from him. He was the first person I called if I had a question about anything (outside of cooking, that requires my mom!). He was a wealth of knowledge and could fix just about anything. He wasn't one to sit still for very long. He loved exploring and discovering how things worked. My oldest, London, is so much like him. They took many trips together to Home Depot to get parts for my dad's many projects. They also loved exploring along the river with Papa's metal detector. My dad taught London to fish. They didn't get as much time together as either of them wanted, but I hope that London carries those memories with him. London sure does miss his Papa and I am sad he doesn't have the privilege of more time with my dad. My dad would have taught London all the things he taught me. Now my brothers and I have the honor of carrying on our dad's legacy and instilling those things in our children, his 9 grandchildren. They will always know how much their Papa loved them. They will know what it is to work hard, to take pride in the things they do, to respect themselves and each other and to love those around them.
I can still feel my dad's love every day and I know that won't diminish. When I make a discovery or learn something new he is the first person I think of. I know he would want to be here with us too, watching his grandchildren grow into such great little people. He was a great example of strength, even through his sickness. He never once gave up and never once questioned God's plan. He held tight to his salvation and accepted everything that came with incredible courage. I am thankful God blessed me with such an amazing dad. I never expected our time to be cut so short, but I am incredibly thankful for the time we had. And even though he's no longer physically here, I will forever be his little girl.
My dad taught me to work hard, to respect myself and others and to love those around me. He was a quiet man (and most people found him incredibly intimidating until they got to know him), but he was full of love and emotion. I felt that love every single day of my life. I am incredibly thankful for getting to live next door to him and my mom the last 5 years. I am thankful that they got to be such a huge part of my children's lives. My dad and I spent the last 5 years becoming even closer.. I miss seeing him every day and learning from him. He was the first person I called if I had a question about anything (outside of cooking, that requires my mom!). He was a wealth of knowledge and could fix just about anything. He wasn't one to sit still for very long. He loved exploring and discovering how things worked. My oldest, London, is so much like him. They took many trips together to Home Depot to get parts for my dad's many projects. They also loved exploring along the river with Papa's metal detector. My dad taught London to fish. They didn't get as much time together as either of them wanted, but I hope that London carries those memories with him. London sure does miss his Papa and I am sad he doesn't have the privilege of more time with my dad. My dad would have taught London all the things he taught me. Now my brothers and I have the honor of carrying on our dad's legacy and instilling those things in our children, his 9 grandchildren. They will always know how much their Papa loved them. They will know what it is to work hard, to take pride in the things they do, to respect themselves and each other and to love those around them.
I can still feel my dad's love every day and I know that won't diminish. When I make a discovery or learn something new he is the first person I think of. I know he would want to be here with us too, watching his grandchildren grow into such great little people. He was a great example of strength, even through his sickness. He never once gave up and never once questioned God's plan. He held tight to his salvation and accepted everything that came with incredible courage. I am thankful God blessed me with such an amazing dad. I never expected our time to be cut so short, but I am incredibly thankful for the time we had. And even though he's no longer physically here, I will forever be his little girl.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Warp speed
I really can't believe it's been over 2 years. There is something about having kids that makes time move at an incredibly fast rate.. Faster than normal. Growing up my dad would always tell me that years pass in the blink of an eye. He was right. Not only am I years older, but my children are growing at a non-stop pace. I have asked them repeatedly to stop growing older, but they have yet to obey.
London is now 7 and wrapping up the 1st grade. He loves school, even though he informed me at the beginning of the school year that he wanted to drop out of school so he didn't have to do homework anymore. I laughed and said, "Sorry dear, you have 10 more years of it." He seems to have accepted this lot in life and has excelled in his studies. He has been playing piano for 2 years and started showing an increasing interest in guitar. We let him start guitar lessons in April. His dad is his teacher, which I love. It is such a special thing for the two of them to be able to bond over. They are both enjoying their time together. London also enjoys playing soccer with the Folsom Soccer Club. He will begin his 4th season of soccer this August, with the same team.
Adelaide is now 5, going on 13 sometimes. She started preschool in February (5 months into the year), but she has fit right in and absolutely loves every minute of it. She has started making her own friends and gets a break from her pesky brothers. ;) She took ballet and tap for 18 months and danced in 2 recitals during that time. Dancing is in her blood and she can't stay away from it for too long. She has taken a break since soccer season last fall, but desperately wants to get back to it. Her favorite part is the recital. She is at home on the big stage, under the lights, dancing in front of a crowd. She has also started piano lessons in April, compliments of her very talented dad. She really enjoys learning and finally being able to do the things her older brother does. She will start Kindergarten in August and is over the moon to be at London's school - FINALLY! I know she will do great and have so much fun each day. Adelaide is a monster on the soccer field!! She will begin her second season this August. She was more aggressive on the field than I expected. She scored several goals throughout the season and absolutely loved being on the field as much as possible.
Porter.. What can I say?! He's 3 1/2 and gains more energy as he grows. Kind of like the Incredible Hulk!! His nickname is Destructor and it is incredibly appropriate. He will being preschool in September (and turn 4)... That is, if the kid gets the desire to use the toilet for his business instead of a diaper. I don't think there is a child that has ever lived that has had less interest in using a toilet! I am determined to get him potty trained by the time school starts in September. I have a feeling he's going to spend a lot of time naked in our backyard this summer..
Gabe continues to be used by God at our church, Harbor Community Church, as the worship director. It has been great to see how God has used him to grow our church in their understanding and love of worshiping our great God! He is also still teaching guitar lessons 5 days a week. He steadily has about 45 students from month to month! He also finds time to be a great dad and an even greater husband :) We are celebrating 10 years of marriage this July.. I can't believe it!
I plug on as a wife and mother. It is always what I knew God was calling me to be. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am so blessed to have the husband I have and the three crazy kids I have!
London is now 7 and wrapping up the 1st grade. He loves school, even though he informed me at the beginning of the school year that he wanted to drop out of school so he didn't have to do homework anymore. I laughed and said, "Sorry dear, you have 10 more years of it." He seems to have accepted this lot in life and has excelled in his studies. He has been playing piano for 2 years and started showing an increasing interest in guitar. We let him start guitar lessons in April. His dad is his teacher, which I love. It is such a special thing for the two of them to be able to bond over. They are both enjoying their time together. London also enjoys playing soccer with the Folsom Soccer Club. He will begin his 4th season of soccer this August, with the same team.
Adelaide is now 5, going on 13 sometimes. She started preschool in February (5 months into the year), but she has fit right in and absolutely loves every minute of it. She has started making her own friends and gets a break from her pesky brothers. ;) She took ballet and tap for 18 months and danced in 2 recitals during that time. Dancing is in her blood and she can't stay away from it for too long. She has taken a break since soccer season last fall, but desperately wants to get back to it. Her favorite part is the recital. She is at home on the big stage, under the lights, dancing in front of a crowd. She has also started piano lessons in April, compliments of her very talented dad. She really enjoys learning and finally being able to do the things her older brother does. She will start Kindergarten in August and is over the moon to be at London's school - FINALLY! I know she will do great and have so much fun each day. Adelaide is a monster on the soccer field!! She will begin her second season this August. She was more aggressive on the field than I expected. She scored several goals throughout the season and absolutely loved being on the field as much as possible.
Porter.. What can I say?! He's 3 1/2 and gains more energy as he grows. Kind of like the Incredible Hulk!! His nickname is Destructor and it is incredibly appropriate. He will being preschool in September (and turn 4)... That is, if the kid gets the desire to use the toilet for his business instead of a diaper. I don't think there is a child that has ever lived that has had less interest in using a toilet! I am determined to get him potty trained by the time school starts in September. I have a feeling he's going to spend a lot of time naked in our backyard this summer..
Gabe continues to be used by God at our church, Harbor Community Church, as the worship director. It has been great to see how God has used him to grow our church in their understanding and love of worshiping our great God! He is also still teaching guitar lessons 5 days a week. He steadily has about 45 students from month to month! He also finds time to be a great dad and an even greater husband :) We are celebrating 10 years of marriage this July.. I can't believe it!
I plug on as a wife and mother. It is always what I knew God was calling me to be. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am so blessed to have the husband I have and the three crazy kids I have!
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