A thousand firsts

Today was my first day back to work after a 5 month maternity leave. The struggle within started about midday yesterday. As the night drew closer, the struggle intensified. I had to fight back the tears a few times last night. Every time I'd think of leaving my babies I would get very emotional. I was up with a fussy Adelaide around 5:30 this morning, just trying to get her to stay asleep. I was successful and she eventually fell back asleep around 5:45 am. My alarm went off at 6 am. I got up and got ready for work. Adelaide woke up about 6:30am so Gabe got up to give her a bottle. I was unable to say goodbye to London, as he was still asleep. I kissed Gabe and Adelaide goodbye and BOY HOWDY were the emotion warriors ready for battle. I was able to get out of the house with just a few tears shed. I quickly focused on something else... Starbucks. I had only a few minutes to decide what I was going to get. The next bought of emotion hit when I got to work and checked my email. My coworker had sent me one in regards to me being back at work and away from the kids.. Great.

I probably thought about the kids a thousand times today. But I made it through. Now the difficult thing is going back tomorrow. Luckily I have quite a bit of work waiting for me, so when I get in I can get right to work and keep busy. Keep my mind off the fact that I'm missing London and Adelaide terribly. Work, have lunch, chat with some coworkers, and think a thousand more thoughts of my children.